Feeling like I Don't know whats going on in my head

So, I'm an 18 year old girl that doesn't understand what is going on in my head I mean who does. I feel like I need something to do. Something that will give me something to want to do every day. I mean when I was working i guess i had that to look forward too, but at the same time i really didn't have any time for me. Now i have way to much time with nothing to do in it. I know that my parents want me to get a job and i know that i want money again but its hard to find a job in this day an age. I mean more and more people are working after what used to be retirement age. Now they work at Mcd's and Timmys and place that i would/should be able to get work, but i cant. I cant even find a place that is really looking.

later

Boredom

You know when your just so bored that you don't know what to do? Well that is how I'm feeling right now. I mean its the end of Christmas break and I'm kinda looking forward to going back to school. I mean i know the guy i just met doesn't go to our school but at least at school i have things to take my mind off of him. He is just so nice and funny and sweet and i dunno just an overall guy who you could tell anything to and not be scared of what he would say. And yet i still hide in the dark. Then again i hide in the dark so much that its kinda hard to tell when I'm not hiding, but this guy makes me feel carefree. Like I'm not hiding the fact that i haven't had a good nights rest in weeks or that my depression is sometimes getting the better  of me. I feel like i can just relax and be a teen. Not the girl who is trying to fight the depression she feels everyday.

Well rant over and to tell the truth i could care less if anyone reads this.